left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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