Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Randomize
