My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
