lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize
