even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
