Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
