she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Randomize
