I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
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That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
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