WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Did we literally take a cab across the street
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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