We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
