let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
