is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
