I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I could fuck to npr.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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