You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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