note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Randomize
