i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
