dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Randomize