sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
The uberlube is also flammable
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
