his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
