Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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