i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
