alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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