Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
