I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
