I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I need to stop coming to work sober
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
