If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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