having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize