How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
