I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
