Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
