he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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