Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
handjob tips. give me some.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Randomize
