the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
