Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
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