i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
