I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize
