I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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