everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
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