She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
