I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
