omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Randomize
