Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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