3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I have so many feelings about this burrito
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
