I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
