Sponge bath it is.
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
