If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize