I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
