Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
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