I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
