1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
