All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
