We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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