Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
