We won't sleep together?
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
