no, he came in my armpit
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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