she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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