I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize