well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
