Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Randomize
