do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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