Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
