Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Randomize
