Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize