so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
