PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
