They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
