I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
your room smells of hookers.
And success
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
