When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
