I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
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