let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize