i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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