so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize