My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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