This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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