yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
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