Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
