Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
