I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
vagina is talking i cant
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
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